a diary of a caregiver

Toilet Paper

2007-11-15T22:04:00.000-06:00

When I was a freshman in college, my roommate and I were bored. So, to add a little excitement to our floor we decided to TP our our wing. We got all the extra rolls of toilet paper out of the stalls and found a stash in the janitor's closet. We were insomniacs and in the middle of the night we snuck quietly into everybody's rooms(only doors that were unlocked) and had a toilet paper party. I remember Kristy and I almost losing it with laughter. We had to rush out into the hallway and try not to wake anyone up. We didn't want to get caught in the act! We did the entire hall and the bathroom. We even did the head RA's room! Uhm, I wouldn't recommend messing with the head RA! We only woke up one person and she thought the whole thing was hilarious and even helped a "little bit". The next morning, there were murmurings, mutterings, and laughter up and down the hall. Who did this? How'd they do this? Well, of course, the truth got out!

Later in the afternoon, We got a call from the Dorm Directer! The message said that she heard of our late night shenanigans and she and the Head RA needed to speak with us. Tonight! Gulp!!! We were freaked out for the entire day. What was going to happen to us? Why did we do it? Ugh! It got to be time for our big meeting and we waited in our room. And waited...and waited...and waited. "Hey, play the message again. She did say we meet here, right?" One more time, "what did it say?" Finally, am hour and a half hour later the head RA showed up. She said the dorm directer never planned on coming. They thought the entire thing was so funny. She said, "what freshman would have the nerve to toilet paper the head RA's room?" She, the dorm directer and our RA had laughed about it for so long and they decided they needed to get us back! Hhmm, our RA was in on it too? Guess it served us right!

Well, after that we were never safe. Even if we locked our door, "somehow" people on our floor could get in and wreak havoc in our room. Not that it was all that clean, but they would hide stuff amidst the junk. One time someone hid an old fashioned alarm clock in our room. We didn't discover it until bedtime and all you could here was tick, TICK, TICK, TICK of the clock. It took us so long to find it. The person who hid it had set to wake us up in the the middle of the night. People would rearrange, hide, and "thieve" things for a very long time! We didn't mind. It was all good natured and we were all enjoying ourselves.

Muscle Woman

2007-11-04T19:54:00.000-06:00

Ouch!! I was goofing off at walmart today and totally pulled a chunk of skin off my finger! We were walking down the clearance aisle when I saw a humongous weight and being me....I wanted to see if I could lift it! I could, but not before pinching my hand between the weight and the shelf. Ouch!! I walked over to the pharmacy and asked for a band aid. Don't worry, I'm not going to get too graphic about how much I was bleeding! I'm doing fine now, but just felt like sharing about my smooth moves :)

Geocaching Pictures

2007-11-03T23:37:00.000-05:00

An afternoon of geocaching and fun

Karen, Sarah, and I spent our saturday afternoon hiking on civil war trails in one of the many state parks Missouri has to offer. It was a beautiful day and we really enjoyed ourselves. We found all the caches we set out to find which is always a plus. We worked up an appetite, so after a quick change we headed out to the Fox and Hound Resturaunt. That was our first time to go there and we loved it. It had great food and a fun atmosphere. Since we were in the shopping area we decided to go shopping, too!

Geocaching

2007-11-03T09:09:00.000-05:00

Well, today we plan on geochaching! It is suppose to be a gorgeous day, too. So, we will have a ton of fun tramping through the woods looking for hidden treasure boxes. For those of you who don't know what in the world geocaching is...it is sort of like a high tech treasure hunt. First, you log on to geocaching. com, then you find the coordinates of the little treasure box that somebody hid, then you take your GPS device and hunt until you come near the coordinates. After that, it is up to you and your group look around and find the cache. Usually, it is just a bunch of worthless junk inside the cache, like MacDonald's toys, key chains, cheap dollar store stuff, but the point is to find the cache. Occasionally, there are geocoins in a cache. These are pretty cool and whoever put them there had to spend a little more money than the dollar store for these coins. The rules are that you take something and then put something of your own back. There is also a logbook that you sign for your group and you tell how hard, easy, or fun the cache was. Each cache is labeled for ease or difficulty. If it is an incredibly hard cache the prizes get better. We don't have many of those around here. These are the one that you have to scuba dive, rock climb, solve mysteries and clues that lead you to the next set of clues until finally you get the real coordinates for the cache. So, this game is a lot of fun and I hope we find something today!

Neglecting

2007-10-29T10:03:00.000-05:00

Well, I have been neglecting my blog again. I'm trying to get my shop in tip top shape and it is a lot of work. Feel free to check out my online gallery. If you click on the icon in the top right hand corner of my blog it will take you there. Mom really wants me to get it finished so she can be on the computer more. I'm nearly there!

I worked all day on Saturday and then went to the costume party with my sister and niece. We all had a lot of fun.

My cat, Zeke, has been biting and chewing at his skin so much that he was looking pretty bad. So, we took him to the vet last week and his coat is already looking nice again. They gave him a bunch of shots and sent me home with a bottle of liquid antibiotics to give him. That started out rough, but now it's not so bad. He will let me stick the syringe into his mouth now. We think he has a flea allergy. With just one bite he goes crazy and nearly tears himself up. Hopefully, by Christmas his coat will be full and beautiful like the picture to the right.

Nancy is still really excited about Halloween! We only have a couple more day, now. Yesterday we opened all the candy (YUMMY!) and made little bag fulls of candy for the neighbors and family. She took over the candy for the neighbors and had so much fun doing it. I sat at home and ate candy! Then Karen came over and we went for a country drive to go see all the fall foliage. We all had a wonderful time.

Mom's Pin Oak!

2007-10-23T00:32:00.000-05:00

Hi guys! I just read mom's posts. I haven't been on in a while and I really enjoyed reading everything she had to say. Mom's sunday blog, was so good. I remember that stick in the ground! And she did pray over the thing and it did come back to life! What a great role model I have.

Caution, snake!

2007-10-17T22:39:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, after Nancy's doctor's appointment we went out to eat at Culvers. To make it special, we only go every three months. Well, mainly we go because the restaurant is next door to that doctor's office. We devoured a butterburger snack pack and then we each got an ice cream desert. Nancy and I chose the pumpkin pecan concrete mixer. It was delicious! It was a gorgeous day. So, I took the back roads and we enjoyed the color tinged trees and cooler air.

Once we got home, I mowed the lawn. Then I took off to take pictures. I was enjoying a short nature hike when I nearly stepped on this guy! Watch where your going, girl! I snapped a few photos of it and it spooked. It slithered off in the opposite direction. When I got home and showed everybody what I had seen, they told me not to play with snakes. I'm not really sure what kind of snake this is, but the consensus is that it's not poisonous. Mom is scared silly of snakes and I'm sure she will have a conniption when she discovers that I posted a picture of one on my blog.

Today has been a very stormy blustery day! Definitely, a good day to curl up with a good book. We are suppose to have thunderstorms for the rest of the night, too.

Tuesday

2007-10-15T23:32:00.000-05:00

Girly glitter comments from

Wow, time flies! Happy Tuesday everybody. It's only halfway through the month and Nancy is nearly driving us nuts about Halloween! When can she open the candy, is it too early for her to get cards in mail, when can she take candy over to the neighbors? Now, repeat these questions over and over and you have our days here at the house! Tomorrow, we take Nancy up to her doctors appointment. This is an easy one. She doesn't have to give blood or take any serious tests. After, seeing the doctor we will go out for lunch. Well, Mom's putting Nancy to bed and if I don't go to bed as well she will be awake all night! So, happy early Tuesday!

Shop till you drop

2007-10-06T21:22:00.000-05:00

Today, my niece and I left early and hit every shopping center from here to Topeka. Okay, so we didn't go all the way to Kansas, but we sure did have a big shopping day. We had so much fun laughing and being goofy. It was a nice girl's day out.

My niece Sarah and me!

Shopping Day

2007-10-04T11:00:00.000-05:00

This morning is the big day! Nancy has been talking about it for days, wait, make that months. This is the day we go shopping for Halloween and fall candy, decor, and toys. As a matter of fact she is sitting on the living room couch with her purse in her lap and her sunglasses on her face. Her shoes are on, too. Whenever we are going somewhere Nancy's biggest fear is that we will leave and she won't have a chance to put on her shoes. So she will ask numerous times, "Do I need to put my shoes on?"

Mom is in the computer room finishing writing her bills and Nancy keeps asking, "are you coming, Mom?" I woke up early this morning and tip-toed through the house, so Nancy would sleep in. She must of smelled my coffee and toast, because she yelled from her room, "Is it time to get up yet!" "No, go back to sleep! It's early, " I yelled back. But I heard her walk down the hall and come into the kitchen. She said, "Do I need to get dressed? Are we going, now?"

As most of you know, Nancy is my special needs sister. She has a list bigger than Santa's naughty and nice list. Of course she has been working on it for months. She is so excited. So, I better end this and head out for our big shopping trip.

My Cats

2007-10-03T18:46:00.000-05:00

This is Ezekiel Rufus. He is a Norwegian Forrest Cat. We adopted him three years ago on Halloween. Most of the time he is a good laid back cat, but we recently adopted Myrtle Mae. He gets a little cranky, now. He's still very friendly and will run out to the living room and great everybody who visits us. He loves to have his belly rubbed and he doesn't mind when little two year old Valerie lays across him and rolls all over him.

This is Myrtle Mae. We adopted her in June. She is very playful and ornery. She's the reason Ezekiel is cranky. We just recently had her fixed, so her belly hurts. She was curled up sleeping in a bookcase yesterday and fell out. She made her tummy bleed, but she's doing much better today.

I'm Fabulous Award

2007-10-02T13:46:00.000-05:00

Thank you Denise for blessing me last night with this totally fabulous award.

This award was designed by Mike At Ordinary Folk and was originally offered by Christy's Totally Fabulous. She says the award is for “bloggers who are fun, cool, and of course Totally Fabulous!”. I'm passing it on to:

Carolyn at Quiet Time With Carolyn

Glo at Young at Heart

Barb aka baba aka the Night Owl

Melanie at Our Happy Happenings

Sunday Morning

2007-09-30T08:35:00.000-05:00

We have a storm rolling in from the west. This morning everything is still serene. I'm sitting here in the living room watching the shadows dance across the windows as the sun filters in through the trees. The dogs are barking. They probably saw a squirrel. And the kitten is curled up in a ball on my tummy, which makes it a little hard to type, but she's cuddly and warm.

We need the rain. It has been a very dry late summer. October is knocking at the door. Soon the heat will melt away into crisp cool autumn mornings and the leaves on the trees will display an array of vibrant colors. This is my favorite time of the year.

My family and I went to a football game yesterday afternoon. The first half of the game we fried. There was no cloud cover, it was windy, but no breeze could get to us, and the sun was directly overhead. After halftime the sun went behind us and was blocked by a building. It cooled off and everyone enjoyed the game more. You could tell because the crowd got louder and rowdier.

On Friday my sister, Karen, and I went to the indoor soccer arena and babysat our great-niece and nephew while their parents played soccer. Of course, Valerie was adorable and Kevin was laid back and calm. At one point in the evening Valerie, who is only two years old, looked up at a four year little girl and said, "I'm Valerie. What is your name? I'm two!" We were stunned. What a smart little girl she is!

One of these days I'm going to enroll, pay the money, and join the soccer team. I've played as a sub a couple times and it is so much fun. The last time I subbed I had a clumsy moment, which is not unusual for me! I'm very klutzy. I tore a muscle in my stomach and couldn't play for eight weeks. It's been a lot longer than that, try months and I'm ready to get back out there and play.

Well, the big fat brown cat is now on my lap. The kitten is staring at me. The dogs have stopped barking. Mom is awake. I hope we get the rain that is predicted. I'm ready for cooler weather. The weekend is almost over, so enjoy what's left. Go to church, read the paper, eat a big dinner, watch a football game or do whatever you do on a Sunday. Have a blessed week.

Indian Heritage

2007-09-27T12:59:00.000-05:00

I came across this drawing I did in my college print making class and it got me to thinking about my Indian heritage. My great-grandma Carter-Douglas was recorded as having Osage Indian blood. My dad still talks about how his grandmother had long thick, wavy, black hair past her behind. My dad is in his mid-seventies and he still thinks women are suppose to have long hair like that. I have the same thick wavy and sometimes curly hair. It is so much more manageable when cut shorter, but of, course Dad thinks it looks better when it’s longer.
Mom says that one time when, my Grandpa Douglas was helping with yard work at my aunt and uncle’s house, some neighbors stopped by and ask my aunt, who is that Indian out in your front lawn. She replied, That’s not an Indian, that’s my father-in-law. Truth is, he did have Indian ancestry. He looked so much like an Indian that he got this a lot. In fact, when my oldest sister was born one of Mom’s cousins said, “wow stick a little feather on her head and she looks like a little papoose.” Mom didn’t know what to think!!! I have dark hair, dark eyes and high cheek bones, but other that I look very northern European. I have Swedish, Scottish, Welsh, and Irish ancestry, also.

Grandpa Douglas with horses

Mom Reminisces

2007-09-26T09:40:00.000-05:00

As you can see I have been blessed with a great family. I enjoy listening to what they have to say and hearing all of their stories. I have a great aunt that when the families’ house was on fire ran back inside and grabbed the coal bucket. Then, thought well this is silly and ran back into the burning building and put it back where it belongs.

When we are all collectively bored, we will ask mom to tell us stories about the family when she was young. She drums up stories about threshing day, when other farmers would come and help her dad harvest the crops. Her mom would make huge dinners, mounds of mashed potatoes, fried chicken, cooked down green beans, hot rolls and tons of pies. Everyone would eat in the dining room, but they hung a mirror outside on a tree and set up a wash basin underneath so the men could get cleaned up for dinner.

She tells of going blackberry picking with her mom when she was really little. Her mom would tie her sleeves down to her gloves with string and then make her stand there and keep watch for snakes. According to mom my grandma made the best blackberry cobbler in three counties! Her dad had her help milk the cows one time. They went to the barn, he was showing her how, and the cow’s tail swished across her face. “Ewwwe! I don’t like this I want my momma!” He sent her back to the house to be with her mom and all her siblings said that it didn’t matter what the cow did to them they still had to help milk the cows.

Grandpa and his horses

Mom and her Grandma

Uncle Don

2007-09-25T22:02:00.000-05:00

Uncle Don was ten foot tall, had hands the size of oven mitts, and was Clark Kent, a.k.a. Superman. O.K., not really, but growing up this is what I thought. He was always the comical one. He had a great sense of humor and was always fun to listen to. Donald is the brother closest to mom’s age. Well, he got to be the baby of the family for a long time, eleven years. Then along came mom.

He served in WWII in the Navy. Both of the older kids were in the war and he wanted to go, also, but he was too young. I guess he nearly drove everyone nuts until he was old enough to go. When he finally signed up and was shipped out, Grandma had to make another flag with another star on it signifying that she had three children in the war. Uncle Don made it all the way to San Diego and then never got any farther for the duration of the war, much to his chagrin.

He was a farmer and a firefighter. Then he took his family and moved to Alaska for over thirty years. They would send us canned salmon and tell us stories about moose and bears in their front lawn. Whenever he and his family would visit they would talk about how hot it was here and how much cooler the weather was back home. I hate hot weather and I still threaten to move in with my cousins in Alaska. Uncle Don passed away in 2003.

Uncle Ray

2007-09-24T22:04:00.000-05:00

Raymond my mom’s oldest brother loved the Chicago Cubs. When we would visit the relatives up north we would stay with him and aunt Dorothy. I remember him sitting in front of the t.v. with Cub’s baseball games on and looking half asleep, but if you tried to change the channel he would say, “I was just resting my eyes and, yes, I’m watching the game!”

The summer I was nine years old we had a family reunion. My grandma was a little crippled up, so my uncle Ray went out and bought a used van. It had the Iowa Hawkeye’s emblem all over it. He must of got it from an alumni. I remember it being huge! My mom says it was very comfortable for grandma and that he did this for their mom.

He was a mechanic and a truck driver. He owned a trucking company.

He served in WWII. He trained out in Golden, Colorado. I’ve read an old letter that he sent to grandpa and grandma, stating that, "Mickey Rooney came and visited the troops and it was swell. And, by the way, me and Dorothy, his high school sweetheart, got married this weekend. Just thought I should let you folks know." He was military police in the Army. He was at battles in France and Okinawa, Japan! I never heard him talk about the war. It was just one of those things he didn’t talk about. He passed away in 1998, four days before his sister, Margaret.

Aunt Margaret

2007-09-23T18:30:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day of fall. Soon the weather will start cooling off and the holidays will be here before we know it. For some reason this got me to thinking about my mom's sister, Aunt Margaret. She was a very cool aunt. She would send me expensive cards that had puzzles and games. I remember one thanksgiving card that she sent, where there was a punch-out section that had you build the Mayflower. There where also pop-up Halloween cards with ghosts and black cats jumping out to say, Boo" and big felt Santa Clauses, some of which we still put out during Christmas. My Birthday is six days before Christmas and she would send me big fun birthday cards, too. She signed every card with a green felt tipped pen with her precise script.
Aunt Margaret served in World War II. She was in the WAVES and was stationed in Florida. There is a funny story about her. She was leading the ladies in a drill, marched them right around the corner, and straight into a wall. When she got out of the WAVES, she decided she wanted her pilots license. So she learned to fly a plane. Then she moved to California and bought a motor scooter. She drove this to and from work every day. She always wore bright red lipstick. She was visiting my great uncle who served on the local volunteer fire department. While she was there a call came in signalling a fire. As my uncle was rushing out the door, Aunt Margaret said, "wait, I want to go with you, but I have to put on my lipstick!" Aunt Margaret passed awayed the first week of September 1998 four days after her brother. She was 74 years old.

Mom and her sister, Margaret

Ho Hum

2007-09-22T08:18:00.000-05:00

After work yesterday, I went to the plaza art fair. My sister and my niece came along, too. We saw all the tents and went to Panera Bread for some coffee and diet cokes. When we left it was pouring down rain, so we hoofed it to the car and drove home. There is not much of anything else going on. I work all day today.

My Nephew Jacob

2007-09-18T08:18:00.000-05:00

About Jacob:
My sister and I went down to watch our nephew, Jacob, do his "coaching" job at the college he is attending. Right now, he is an equipment manager. Last year he washed the teams' laundry. Next year he moves up to another position. When he is all finished he will be placed at a college level coaching position. He's a good kid and we are all very proud of him.

Dorky History/Lit Geek

2007-09-17T22:07:00.001-05:00

Ha! I'm a dorky history/lit geek and I work at a library...how surprising!

Good Morning

2007-09-15T08:37:00.000-05:00

I'm up early every morning now, because I have a new alarm clock and her name is Mrytle. Our new kitten likes to wake me up every morning by licking my face and hands. If I turn myself into a mummy with the sheets she will take her head and with all the the might she can muster pushes on my neck until I move. Then jumps in and starts licking me again! She starts in a six thirty in the morning. She will eventually give up and fall asleep across my head!

Last night my sister Karen and I babysitted our great niece and and baby great nephew. They are so cute! At one point in the evening we couldn't get baby Kevin to settle down and stop crying. So, Valerie grabbed his binky and shoved it in his mouth and gave the two us a duh look, like "don't you guys know anything! This is the plug to make him stop!" It was pretty funny, too. We finally got him settled and Valerie and I played with her Barbies.

This afternoon we are going to watch another nephew coach college football. He is attending a state school here in Missouri and is in some accelerated program for coaching students. Once he's graduated they will place him in a college level coaching position, but for now he helps coach football where's he's attending school.

Autumn

2007-09-14T08:32:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited that the temperatures are finally dropping. My favorite season is autumn. This is the time of the year when summer’s hot fury comes to an end. We are greeted each morning with a cool, crisp kiss of fresh air. Our trees finally show their true colors and we are blessed with nature’s bounty of freshly harvested produce. All the flavors and colors of the season become richer and we are allowed to enjoy the sensations of the changing season. With this change comes the pleasures football, campfires, apples and pumpkins, and cozy sweaters. We open our doors and windows to enjoy the cooler weather. We curl up on the couch with a fuzzy blanket and wrap ourselves in the warmth of the new season. We invite friends and family over for soups, chillis or hot apple pies. We take country drives to see the foliage and enjoy the crisp breeze on our faces. We warm our hands up with cups of hot chocolate and coffee. Our children come home from school smelling of sharpened pencils, chalk, and sweat and it brings to mind our old school days. They talk of old friends and the new friends they have made. We take long walks and catch up with old friends. We enjoy the outdoors and bring part of it with us when we come home. We make fun fall crafts with leaves and acorns, pick pumpkins to put by our doorsteps, and place scarecrows in our front yards. Fall is definitely a fun season to be enjoyed by all.

We're Home!

2007-09-09T20:37:00.000-05:00

We all got back from our vacation safe and sound! Mom has fallen in love with the ocean! I enjoyed both the Smoky's and the ocean, but this was Mom's first time to visit the beach! I've got to get back into the old routines again! It was nice not to have to do all the chores for a while. Well, I was the pack mule on vacation. Everything was loaded onto my back and I carried it in and out of all the hotels. That's O.K., though, because we also ate a lot of food and I sat in the van for a very long time so, I needed the exercise!

The Beach

2007-08-29T11:01:00.000-05:00

The big vacation is right around the corner! We have been getting ready for days now. The last time I have been on a tropical beach was back in 2000. This was my Junior year in college and I went down to see my sister in Guadalajara, Mexico. This was before Mom fell and before Nancy got really sick.

Vacation is just two days away!

2007-08-28T10:49:00.000-05:00

Nancy loves to sing. So, do I. She listens to her headphones and constantly belts out her favorite tunes at the top of her lungs. So, for the vacation I am mixing songs on CDs about the major towns we will be visiting. On the way to Memphis, I have Elvis, blues and country tunes. Then on the way to New Orleans I have Cajun and Dixieland Jazz. For the beach I have Island and Beachy songs. Then for the Smokies, I have a compellation of Blue Grass. We will have a sound track for our trip. It will be musical journey.

We also plan on tasting foods famous in the regions we are visiting. Nancy loves to eat. Everything is her favorite! Me, too. When it’s lunch time for me, but Mom and Nancy have already eaten; it’s lunchtime again for Nancy. If anyone eats anything Nancy has to eat, also. So, this is right up Nancy's Alley! Barbeque in Memphis, Beignet’s and Gumbo in New Orleans, Shrimp in Florida, and down home southern cooking in Gatlinburg.

Today,we are having a toenail painting party. We've invited our friends and family (girls, only! sorry boys!) over to get our tootsies beach ready for the vacation. Chick flicks, pizza, and toenail polish will make a great combination for fun. This was all Karen's idea! It was probably a ploy to see that adorable little girl before we leave. That's our great-niece, Valerie. It will be a fun night. Right now, Nancy is packing. Her room is a jumbled mess of flip flops, sunscreen, and beach ware.

Flying Frisbees and Diet Sodas

2007-08-27T09:12:00.000-05:00

This weekend, it was cool enough outside to take the dog out and play Frisbee. We went to an enormous park and took a gigantic Frisbee. It was bigger than Molly and she looked so funny running with it in her mouth. That’s her favorite game, fetch. My niece, Sarah, came over in her brand new Jeep and picked up Nancy and me. She took us to Sonic and bought everyone huge route 44 drinks. We brought one home for Mom and she spilled it all over the end table, couch, carpet and herself. We got it all cleaned up, but the rest of the day Nancy would say to mom, “Don’t spill.” It didn’t matter what she had in her hands Nancy would tell her not to spill again. She also said, “Gee, Mom, how’d you manage that!”

We are going on vacation at the end of this week. The excitement at our house is palatable. We are getting all the last minute things ready. Although, Nancy was ready to pack a month ago! She can’t wait to see Graceland. She saw it back when she was 16 years old. The other thing Nancy keeps talking about is buying cards.

Nancy loves to give cards. Her favorite thing to do is buying greeting cards and sending them out to everyone. I mean everyone, too. When she meets you for the 1st time she will ask for your address so she can send you a Christmas, Halloween, or Valentine card. Just insert the closest holiday. We have a close family friend who every week sends Nancy a greeting card. Nancy looks forward to getting these every week. It’s truly amazing how she faithfully sends a card to Nancy. It is such a blessing.

Thunderstorms

2007-08-24T22:35:00.000-05:00

Nancy is on oxygen. The lupus attacked her lungs. She only wears it at night and whenever needed, which is usually when we are doing any kind of chore, whether easy or strenuous. She is scared of storms. Somehow, she got it in her head that the concentrator will blow up during a thunderstorm. It has been stormy off and on today. That all said, it’s been a peaceful evening. The computer and Internet haven’t been working properly, though. While I’m at work, this connects mom to other people. She used to get out and about more, but since she fell she doesn’t get around as well.

Teaching her to blog has helped her so much. One of Mom’s favorite activities is to talk. She loves to chat, tell stories, and be connected with others. When she was more mobile she would stop and chat with everyone. Not having this privilege has been very difficult and Blogging has opened up a whole new world for her. Talking on the telephone can be challenging at our house.

When I was a kid, Nancy and I shared a room together. If we had already been put to bed and the phone rang, we would sit up, look at one another and run into the kitchen to find out who was on the phone. It was a race to see who could find out first.

I was about ten years old when my mom and my sister, Karen, left me and Nancy at home for about an hour. It usually went well. This time, though, I was left instructions to keep Nancy from calling people on the phone. I accepted this responsibility with all the annoying gusto of a ten year old. Sure enough, a few minutes went by and Nancy had made up her mind to use the phone. I, of course, wouldn’t let her. She got frustrated and whacked me upside the head with the telephone.

Nancy loves the telephone! She still has a childlike faith that every call is for her. She still runs to the phone when it rings. I’ve long since outgrown that. She will sit in the room with you and tell you things to tell the person on the other end of the line. No matter how much you tell her to stop or threaten to revoke privileges she will keep going. She has the persistence of a gnat.When you hand her the phone and say, "Here you tell them," she suddenly gets shy. If you lose your temper and yell she will get her feelings hurt, sulk, and make life miserable for everyone. Eventually, you feel like a heel, even though you know it wasn’t your fault.

The big race!

2007-08-23T16:40:00.000-05:00

Dentist day! Nancy and I both had dentist appointments today. She was so nervous! She has a problem with gagging. When the dentist barely touches her lips or teeth she immediately goes into the gag reflex.

Unbeknownst to me, her goal today was to beat me out of the dentist chair. I’m always done before her. Our family is playful and somewhat competitive. She has been doing a better job at brushing her teeth and things where moving fast in her cubicle. She didn’t see me walk by and go out to the waiting room.

When they were finished with her check-up she rushed out into the full room and says, “Where’s Kelly!” My back was to her and I was scrunched down in an oversized cushy chair. “I beat her! Mom, where’s Kelly?” I turned around and said, “Nope! I beat you!” “Ah, man,” she said loudly. But she wasn’t that upset. She had a good report and the dentist gave her lots of chewing gum and tubes of toothpaste. She wanted to know what prizes I got and then we traded toothbrushes. I wanted the green one and she wanted the pink one.

Mom's Birthday!

2007-08-23T16:38:00.000-05:00

Today is mom’s birthday. I’ve already got the lawn mowed and I have a bunch of errands to run. I must remember to buy eggs or mom won’t have much of a birthday cake. The first thing Nancy said when she woke up this morning was, “What are we having.” She really does love her food. So, far the bad night has been forgotten. We have friends and family coming over for mom’s birthday. I will have to, also, remember something to clean the carpet with. I don’t want everyone thinking they’ve come to an old folks home.

What’s hard is that every time I go to the store Nancy gives us a list of things she wants. She doesn’t have much going on and a grocery trip is very big in her world. She will continue to verbally add things to the list and remind you countless times so you’ll not forget. So, it gets pretty silly around here. Mom and I whispering that I need to go to the store and sneaking me money and a grocery list.

We are always getting her the stuff she needs, like her meds. We are always buying her treats, too. But, when we bring her favorites home like cans of chicken noodle soup; she’ll say, Where’s my tea?” We hand her, her Kleenex, soup, chewing gum and point out that she has her own 12 pack of diet soda. “But where’s my tea?” “Dang it! I forgot her stupid tea,” I say to myself. Her day is ruined. I didn’t remember. So, we will hear about her tea for the entire day and possibly the entire week. So today, hopefully, we don’t go through this scenario.

Everything went well until the company went home. Then, she discovered she lost her bag of pens. In her mind, someone has come in and stole them. The reality is that she has misplaced them somewhere. This is one of her biggest fears. There are imaginary evil villains, but very real to her, who sneak into our house and mess with her stuff. Never mind the nice things in the house like the computer or television. These people are only after her pens, pictures, or stuffed animals. Only the things precious to her.

Mom found her pens. They were in her purse. Nancy carries this purse everywhere. It is jammed packed full of her most important possessions. It would probably look like junk to most people. She loses everything in this disorganized mish-mash of stuff.

Bathroom Battles

2007-08-23T16:21:00.000-05:00

This evening Nancy wet herself. I got home from work, fixed dinner, worked-out, and chatted with mom for a bit. I was going to use the computer, but mom wanted to finish blogging. So, I told her I was going to go get ready for bed. As soon as I stripped down and soaped up my face Nancy needed the bathroom. I should have just given it to her. The thing is, this is a common occurrence at my house.

Nancy is my mentally handicapped sister. She is mentally retarded, paranoid schizophrenic, and has systemic lupus eremotsis. I’m a caregiver. My mother has all her wits about her, but a few years ago she fell, crushed her knee, and hurt her back. She is nearly 70 and has diabetes and high blood pressure. Because of this, she doesn’t heal as well. So, I help her with the things she is unable to do anymore.

Back to this evening, I was washing my face when she whipped the door open and smacked my elbow with the door. This irritated me to no end and I told her to go on. “But I have to pee,” she said. “Every time, I come into the bathroom you want in here, too! Now, go on. When I’m finished, you can have it,” I said so sweetly! Yeah, right. Honestly, she does wait until she hears me go into the bathroom and then, never fails, wails, “I need the bathroom!” So, I never really know if she is crying wolf or if she needs it. Tonight, she needed it.

My online jounal

2007-08-23T09:39:00.000-05:00

I'm not a perfect person. I'm going to share with you how I feel and how I react to many situations. Sometimes, I'll fall out of grace and other times I'll handle things gracefully. I'm not holding anything back. This is my online journal. Perhaps, it will help me understand myself better or maybe it just might help other caregivers out there in blogdom.

Have you ever said something you wish you could take back? But you can’t. It’s been said and has tarnished the ears of the listener. I have. I still remember standing in the kitchen. I can almost taste the rage on my lips, but I cannot remember the cause of it. Now, I remember the who, but not the cause. I turned my head towards Nancy and said, “I hate you.”

The thing is, I don’t. I do not hate Nancy. I love her. She is my big sister. She was sixteen years old when I was born. We have so much history together. I shared a room with her until I was eleven years old. Because of her I love Elvis, purple, and the holidays. We are friends. It’s really cool when she has her lucid moments.

When I told her I hated her things changed. She’s not together enough to understand. That’s it right there! She doesn’t understand. Everything is all muddled up in her brain. She cannot convey things with the ease I take for granted. She also gets stuck on one thing and will repeatedly ask you the same thing as if she hasn’t heard the answer. We also live way ahead of time. She keeps track by holidays, for example as soon as the last firework goes off on the 4th of July, we talk about Halloween. Nancy never forgets.

So, back to that awful hate word. Even though it’s been a few years since I said that to her, have apologized, and told her I loved her many times over; she will still bring up that time I told her I hate her.

My First Blog

2007-08-22T21:28:00.000-05:00

This is a blog about my life. I'm a caregiver. I'm 28 years old and I started helping when my mom fell and my sister, Nancy, was diagnosed with systemic lupus erythematosus . That was about five years ago. This blog is honest and shows what my life is like as a caregiver.

My Mother, does help as much as she can. She helps do the dishes. She drags a chair over to the sink and washes dishes until her back and knee ache so bad she must sit down. She rests and then goes right back at those dishes! She is a sweetheart and a blessing. I love her so much.

My oldest sister is a missionary in Mexico. She and her husband and three sons have a church in Guadalajara, Mexico. They do prison ministries, women and men ministries and so much more that I can't remember. I am very proud of them.

My Brother is a Baptist pastor. He and his wife lead and minister at the church. Both of their children are in college and I am very proud of them as well.

Nancy is mentally retarded, suffers from lupus enhanced paranoia schizophrenia, and has systemic lupus erythematosus .

My sister Karen lives nearby and helps financially. She is a senior multimedia designer and a restaurant owner. She is strong and tender-hearted and lends a hand frequently.

My oldest siblings help out, too. But they live far away from us. I love my family. We are very closeknit and it is a joy and a blessing to have such a large family. I am the youngest of five children. All of us try to help out as much as possible .